Most families have certain traditions and values they believe in. As parents with noble intentions, we often try to instill these important values – family “jewels” if you will – in our children.

At some point, our children inevitably do or say something that runs counter to or challenges those family beliefs. For unsuspecting and well-intentioned parents, these confrontations over values can be like a proverbially kick to the family jewels. For example, I remember the first time a child of mine lied to me.  With my values of honesty and open communication, I was devastated and convinced that I had failed as a parent.

Such were the thoughts that swirled in my head as I read the dilemma of Slate columnist Emily Bazelon: her elementary-aged sons were rebelling against their family tradition of hosting a birthday party book swap.  Early in their children’s lives, Bazelon and her husband decided to take a stand against the excess of material possessions which is true for so many American kids. So, for birthday parties, guests were asked to bring a wrapped book instead of a gift for the birthday boy; at the end of the party, each person left with a new book (plus a party favor).

Curious how my children (now teens) would react to the idea of party devoid of presents, I read Bazelon’s piece to Caitlin and Jackson. “That’s ridiculous,” Jackson sputtered, alternating between anger and sympathy over the lack of birthday presents. “It seems like the parents are trying too hard to make the point,” said a slightly chagrined Caitlin.

Bazelon received lots of feedback on Slate.com about her family tradition (much of it could have been written by my kids). A few offered alternatives on how to pass along the anti-consumption message to children.

As for me, I think the book swap party was a terrific idea whose time had passed. I salute the Bazelon parents in their efforts to teach their kids values and hope they come up with other nifty ideas that are a better fit for the kids’ stage in life.

I’d love to beg, borrow or steal others’ ideas about passing along values to our children. (And that last verb is NOT a family value in our house – really!)

Thoughts?

It’s the forties curse.  I remember when I had just turned 40, a slightly older friend told me that I would not pass through this decade without the probable loss of a parent.  An eerie predicition, and I am sad to say, my wonderful mother passed away unexpectedly on January 28th.  While her health and ability to enjoy the simple pleasures in life were on the decline, her voice was still strong and cheerful on the other end of the phone line.  How awful to lose someone so dear, and to suppress the pain, I find myself rationalizing her passing:

• She lived a full 75 years – touching and shaping many lives, full of smiles and wonderful experiences
• Despite declining health, she had no pain and was quickly taken away from us in a peaceful passing; we were truly lucky to not witness suffering or the loss of independence that a nursing home would have subjected her to down the road
• I feel grateful that she celebrated momentous milestones in her life – the marriage to a wonderful, “always fun around the corner” type husband, the birth of two daughters and six grandchildren, and the celebration of 50 years of marriage.

While she will be sorely missed, I am so grateful she lived a long, meaningful and giving life. Her posititive and loving imprint is on all of us that she knew.  In reflection, as a mother, it makes you think about what it is that your children will remember about you – what are the most meaningful imprints you can impart?

I find the imprints of the fabric my mother wove for me are comprised of many of the small things in life – whether it is the late night snacks of anchovies on butter and saltine crackers (yes, weird I know), her bravery to take teenage girls abroad on extended travel (I would never have the guts to do so), her ability to make everything so nice with her special little touches (even down to the way she folded the bath towels), making me steak and egg breakfasts on the days of my swim meets, the monthly package of newspaper clippings from our hometown paper that she sent my sister and I to keep us informed of local news and happenings after we left home, her meticulous way of writing thank you notes, mentioning every gift, how much she liked it, and how she was using it.

These memories are just the tip of the iceberg of the many small things that you can almost take for granted when they are happening, but upon reflection you realize that it’s the small things that make the big lasting imprint and tell the greatest story of love and caring.

Here’s to Nancy Garfield Rice – one truly fantastic lady.

A dear friend who has two sons adopted from Korea forwarded a video starring ten moms (including herself) who have adopted children.  The lead-in line to the video is – “When a child is adopted, a mother is born.”

It’s very heartwarming and I thought it was worth sharing, especially with so many children around the world in need of a family.

For the short clip on you tube, click here.

To see the full five minute video, click here.

If adoption is something that you have been considering, I think this just may inspire you to take the next step.

I received this email the other day about the differences between how we handle situations in high school today vs. the 1950’s, and found it thought provoking. Many of the comparisons ring quite true in my mind – although some are exaggerated for effect. It makes me wonder what the true cornerstones of this societal shift have been over the years – that have made us arrive at such a different style of parenting and administering to our kids.  It’s hard to imagine that as a whole, kids are that significantly different now vs. then, although I do agree that the elements that our kids are exposed to (via music, reality television and internet) puts them in a much different domain than kids of the fifties and sixties.

I think this certainly plays into the now established norms of helicoptering parenting as well.  Any ideas on what has driven this major societal shift?

HIGH SCHOOL — 1959 vs. 2009

Scenario  1:
Jack  goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school  parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.
1959  - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009  - School  goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.



Scenario  2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959  - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009  - Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.



Scenario  3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959  - Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the  Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again..
2009  - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario  4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1959  - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009  - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.



Scenario  5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 - Mark  shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking  dock.
2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario  6: Pedro fails high school English.
1959 - Pedro  goes to summer school, passes English and goes to  college.
2009 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher.  English is then banned from  core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak  English..

Scenario  7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed..
1959  - Ants die.
2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents  – and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario  8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort  him.
1959  - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing..
2009  - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

What’s that smell in the air? Not chestnuts roasting on an open fire … No, it’s the smell of college angst creeping up and swirling around high school juniors and seniors (and their parents!). Wise Woman Susan wrote today’s post to help quell the anxiety of students facing the dreaded college interview.

As a follow-up to Anne’s recent posts regarding the college admissions process, I wanted to share some thoughts regarding the admissions interview. For the past 8 years, I’ve conducted over 50 admissions interviews on behalf of Georgetown University. Admittedly, not every college uses the interview in the same way, but I do feel that there are some basic concepts that can be applied to the process.

Too often, I meet with students who don’t seem to have a clear understanding of the goal of the interview, and so arrive unprepared (and very anxious). While everyone understands the importance of the other elements in the admissions process (grades, SAT scores, extracurricular activities, etc.), I often feel that the admissions interview is not given as much focus. (I’m actually not sure why this is – if anyone has any thoughts on this, I would love to hear them!)

Put simply, an admissions interview can be equated to a job interview. As adults, we’ve learned just how much preparation is required. But since high school students generally haven’t had the opportunity to experience this type of interview, we need to clue them in.

First, it is important to understand the goals of the admissions interview:

1. Help the college to make a personal connection with the applicant
2. Provide the school with an opportunity to gather additional insights into the student’s background, motivations and goals, and assess how well they would fit with the school’s academic environment and culture
3. Provide the student with an opportunity to gather additional information about the school that they were not able to learn through the website (i.e., school culture, student experience), so that they can better determine if the school is right for them

While it is true that the admissions interview is used to evaluate a student, I try to convey to the student that it should be viewed as a “friendly” process – that the goal is not to find faults, but to assess fit.

In preparation for the interview, the student should take some time to think about the following (it may be helpful for the student to write down their answers, in order to clarify their thoughts):

• What are their educational goals?

• What are their career goals (these can be specific goals if known, or just general thoughts if the student is still undecided)

• What do they want to communicate:  strengths, accomplishments, unique aspects of their background, etc.

Basically, they should come to the interview with a “point of view” about who they are, and where they would like to go in the future.

I also suggest that the student learn as much about the school as possible beforehand through the school’s website. This will show the interviewer that they have a serious interest in the school, and are not just applying on a whim, or because their parents want them to (this may actually be the case, but there is no need to shout it out). I confess that when a student doesn’t have at least a basic understanding of the school, a red flag is raised, and this does factor into my overall assessment.

Finally, the student should put together a list of any questions that they may have. As I mentioned earlier, this is also their chance to collect as much information as possible about the school so that they can decide if it would be the right choice for them. I encourage students to ask about anything — and I’ve gotten some REALLY interesting questions – but I appreciate curiosity, and am always happy to answer them.

When it comes time for the actual interview, the best advice that I can give the applicant is the following:

1. RELAX!
2. “Be Yourself” (i.e., don’t try to be who you think the interview wants you to be).
3. This is your chance to shine – so don’t be afraid to talk up your strengths and accomplishments (I actually tell the students I interview that it’s okay to brag).
4. Remember that a good interview will be a 2-sided conversation, so be ready to participate:

• Elaborate on answers
• Give examples when possible
• Ask questions

When a student has prepared for their interview, the conversation flows more easily and ultimately I am able to get a much better understanding of their background, qualifications and goals. They also reflect a positive attitude, interest in the school, and most importantly, confidence. As you can imagine, this tends to translate to a better assessment. And while I won’t necessarily take points off when a student is unprepared, I always come away feeling that it was unfortunate they did not receive guidance and insight into the process ahead of time.

Hope this helps!

My husband, who normally manages and oversees most of the morning routine with the kids (makes breakfasts and lunches) left early Wednesday morning on a business trip. So I was up extra early, showered and dressed for work before I woke up son #1, David, at 6AM.  He leaves to catch the bus at 6:30, then Eliza leaves at 7:25, and Jack and Sam follow at 7:35.  A rather tight hour I might add.  So I was buzzing along until Dave yelled out that he was going to miss his bus (he blamed it on the hot cherry peppers he ate the night before, but I won’t go into any more details on that).

My mind started spinning with this new logistical challenge – as driving him to school takes close to 35/40 minutes round trip.  The domino effect had begun; all four children were going to miss the bus and have to be driven to school.  Sam for some reason, was already very self motivated that morning.  Before this challenge hit, he had elected to put his whole lunch together himself.  He made his PB & J sandwich, packed two drinks, a banana and a snack (and a napkin) and had everything in his lunch bag by the time I left. Luckily I had the other lunches made, and breakfasts were ready to be eaten.  I ran out the door, leaving Eliza in charge, and pleading that everyone eat breakfast, get dressed, go to the bathroom, brush teeth and get shoes on and be ready to go when I returned. (This is a major feat, you see, because I’m typically negotiating them out of bed, dressing them myself as they are too groggy to do anything for themselves, coercing them into the bathroom; the morning routine is rarely a stress free production).

I figured I’d get back and then take the next car load to school – as I was sure we’d miss the bus.  I walked back in the house at 7:33.  Jack and Sam were sitting on the couch, coats on, backpacks on, ready to go.  Eliza claimed she did nothing to help them.  I was pleasantly surprised, ah maybe I should say pleasantly blown-away.

Jack ended up catching the bus, but Sam held out for my previous promise of driving him to school.  After the bus picked up Jack, I drove Sam and Eliza to school, and then treated myself to an Eggnogg latte for my drive in to work.

I was very proud of these two, and decided at certain times they can function much better without me.  I think I may just disappear more often in the morning.  No telling what heights they can achieve if I’m not there to coax them along!

Much has been written about the heroism of Sgt. Kimberly Munley, one of the officers who fired on the Ft. Hood gunman last week and stopped his deadly shooting spree. But, I was even more impressed with her heroics after reading Debbi Wilgoren’s article in The Washington Post — Fort Hood cop’s priorities: Blood loss, day care. Here’s an excerpt:

In an extreme example of the multi-tasking familiar to moms everywhere, one of the police officers hailed as a Fort Hood hero says she had two priorities after she and another officer stopped a gunman who had just killed 13 people.

One: get a tourniquet applied to her thigh, bleeding heavily where a bullet had pierced her femoral artery.

Two: arrange for someone to pick up her toddler from day care.

Sgt. Kimberly Munley, 34, was interviewed on NBC’s “Today” show Thursday morning along with Sgt. Mark Todd, who also responded to the shooting. They appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” Wednesday afternoon. …

The petite police officer, who stands 5 feet 2 inches tall, said she was hit by three bullets. One struck the knuckle of her right hand; one passed through her right knee, then hit her left leg; and one pierced the femoral artery in her left thigh.

“I knew from the amount of blood and the color of the blood that was coming out” of the thigh wound that it was gravely serious, Munley said, sitting in a wheelchair with a blanket spread over her legs.

The soldiers who ran to help her knew it, too; even as she urged them to get pressure on the wound, they were fashioning a tourniquet.

Bleeding stanched, Munley immediately entered what “Today” hosts Ann Curry and Meredith Viera — themselves working mothers — dubbed “Mommy Mode.” She located her cellphone and arranged for someone to pick up her 2-year-old daughter (an older daughter, age 12, presumably gets home from school on her own).

“So the balancing act of motherhood and being a police officer did not end, even at that moment, for you,” said Curry.

“Absolutely not,” Munley said, smiling slightly. “It never does.”

Regardless of the ages of our children, slipping into mommy mode is as automatic as breathing for most women. And, all of us have had moments where we’ve had to juggle the needs of our children at “inopportune” times while dealing with life’s other demands. While hopefully none of us have ever faced as extreme a situation as Sgt. Munley, I’m curious about what (and how) other Wise Women have had to multi-task their motherhood duties with work/volunteer/other life responsibilities. Do tell.

Right after Halloween this week, I heard a couple of stories.  First, one of my neighbors told me that they pay their kids each $20 for their candy, and then throw it away.  There were also a couple of local dentists collecting candy, paying $1-$2 a pound, and then sending the candy to the troops.  I started to think about this, and loved the idea of removing those 7:30AM arguments about candy consumption from my house.

So I thought I would give it a try, and see how my young boys received it.  I decided that I would let it be their choice – and if they wanted to keep their candy – that was fine – we would obviously just have to limit the daily consumption of it.

So here was my deal.  I told them that I would buy all their candy for $10, and then take them to the toy store so they could pick out something special that costs $10 or less.  They both took me up on the offer without hesitating, and negotiated to keep two pieces of candy.

One friend pushed back on this scenario a bit – vocalizing that Halloween is one of those special occasions – and it wouldn’t be right to take away the candy.  My response was that candy today is so prevalent – I feel like almost everyday somehow candy is in my kid’s lives.  When we were kids it was candy at Halloween, Christmas and Easter – but not much beyond that.

Anyhow, the boys were very happy with their trade.  Jack bought a Yankees bear, Sam a little stuffed cow (of course, we don’t need anymore stuffed animals in the house either!).  It was very cute watching them walk around the store with money in hand, looking at different prices and deciding what they could afford.

So now I will share all my candy with my co-workers.  See, everyone is happy in the end!

Last fall my husband and I were embroiled in a redistricting battle with our School Board, which I wrote about last September.  It was a long year of letters and speeches to the School Board, Mayor, and Board of Reps, talking to the press, and rallying neighbors.  It was a frustrating year, because at each successive meeting, it was clear that we as parents were much more familiar with the numbers behind the recommendations then the Board – and concerned that the long term impact, including the costs of the plan had not been taken into account before the recommendation was laid out on the table.

All along, we were very sensitive about not making this a school vs. school issue, and when we lost the first round, we banded together with parents throughout the city and tried a new approach.  At our last major appeal before the board, we laid out a compelling argument, backed my numbers.  The Superintendent stood up and refuted our claims, leading to the School Boards’ vote against what we were proposing.

My husband and I looked at each other aghast, because the Superintendent was clearly wrong, and the Board had made their final decision on faulty information.  We then were able to get a meeting with the President of the Board, the Superintendent and the Director of Research who had put the plan together – to walk them through the numbers again, to prove what we were proposing was correct – and would be a much more balanced solution.  Finally, they admitted we were right.  One second later the President of the Board said, “It’s too late now.  The Board doesn’t have the appetite to open this back up for review.”  My husband replied “But you made your decision on bad information.”  They all held their ground.  By this time it was April, and we had lost our battle.  My mind was racing with some pretty nasty editorials we could write on how this was handled, but whether we took the high road, or were just exhausted from dealing with this all year, we accepted our fate.

Come May, I heard that two of my neighbors had applied for “Out of District” placement, and had been accepted to remain at our current school.  I then applied, and heard in July that we were denied.  By this time I was angrier.  There was such a small number of families from my neighborhood that had been redistricted to the new school – now all of a sudden with two families being granted permission to stay, that redistricted group got much smaller.  We appealed the decision, and submitted another request to remain at our current school.

Meanwhile, I figured we had to accept the inevitable, and I started to work on getting the boys comfortable with their new school.  We made visits to the school’s playground (very cool playground), we went over and met the Principal and Vice Principal, both who walked us around and gave us a private tour.  We all really liked the school – very nice facility, lots of space, nice administration.  I heard great things about the teachers that both of the kids were assigned.

Then the moment of truth.  The Friday before school started, we were called to a meeting downtown with the man who handles all out of district placements.  He told us our application was in order – he just needed one more piece of documentation, and then we would be granted permission to stay.  At 5PM that day, we received the call confirming that we could stay at our current school, as an out of district family.  Talk about the 11th hour.

Wow.  It was a moment of mixed emotions.  If it happened two months ago – when Jack was repeating daily “I want to stay at Northeast” it would have been so much easier.  One of Jack’s closest friends was going to the new school with him, and they had been assigned the same teacher.  Sam was very excited about his new school.  First I called Jack’s friends mother to tell her the news.  It was heart wrenching to me that this friend might be the only child from our neighborhood going to the redistricted school. Secondly, when I told the boys the news, Jack just looked plain confused, and Sam broke down into tears.  “I want to go to Davenport,” he said.  Oh no, I thought.  I guess I did too good a job selling the new school this summer.  I certainly had that voice in my head saying “Am I doing the right thing?”

I knew Monday’s orientation would be tough for Sam.  I had been talking to the Assistant Principal at our current school over the weekend, so she knew that we had gotten in, but I wouldn’t know who Sam’s teacher was until that first morning.  I knew Sam would be walking into a classroom that wasn’t prepared for him – no name on the wall, no cubby, no seating assignment.  To make matters worse, on orientation day when I went to Sam’ class (he had already been called to go there with his teacher)  – Sam was missing – sent to the principals’ office since he wasn’t on the class list.   I turned around to see Sam walking down the hall, with quivering chin, trying to keep it together.  That first week, we had a few tough mornings, with Sam not wanting to get on the bus.

Now, everything is fine, even great.  Sam loves school.  Jack loves school.  They love being at the bus stop with our neighbors (if they had gone to the redistricted school, they would have been alone at the bus stop – as all other neighbors were grandfathered).  So here’s my positive spin on this very challenging year:

1. Never give up.
2. Never assume the other side knows more than you.
3. There’s always something good in what you don’t know – and you have to approach a new situation with an open mind.
4. While it was a time consuming, aggravating year, we met a lot of new friends – not only in our neighborhood, but also across the city.
   
   So to wrap it up, while I convinced myself I was looking forward to meeting a whole new group of people, and would have to step up my involvement at the new school, it’s nice to be back “home” at the elementary school I have known for ten years.  I also hope that I never have to go through another redistricting cycle again!

Guest blogger Sonya wrote a great piece last Monday about the heart break of watching your kids grow up – their steps toward independence and the small signs along the way that they don’t need you as much – or at least in the same way.  Her daughter went off to sleep-away camp this summer – as did my daughter – but it was my daughter’s fourth summer at camp.  The change in her amazed me after that first summer when she returned – so mature and independent in a very good way.  Now an 8th grader,  I also like the fact that camp provides an escape from the middle school drama that naturally takes place locally, especially among girls.  Camp is her special place where she has her own special friends.  The following is a little essay I wrote about the drama of a 7th grader – and the great escape and sanctuary that camp provides:

A SPECIAL PLACE

I wish I could just skip to high school, now, Alyssa thought to herself, as thoughts raced through her mind about the latest round of girlfriend drama going on.  Fortunately for Alyssa, she always held a firm stance – independent minded, friends to many, not too caught up in the he said/she said and whose best friend was who types of games, typical for the average 13 year old.  Her graceful, tall stature allowed her to stand above it all, yet it was such a part of the every day of the typical 7^th grader, it was impossible to completely not let these friend issues weigh on her mind.

Take her friend Jesse, for example.  Jesse was a little obsessive, and had to have a true best friend at all times.  Of course these “true best friends” rotated rather quickly – depending on any given moment of any given day.  Alyssa saw through it, and tried to maintain a steady course.  Yet it wasn’t always easy.  She had been Jesse’s true best friend for a while.  Jesse’s definition of best friendship was non-stop phone calls, text messages, non-ending online chats and no doing anything with anyone else but her.  Being Jesse’s true best friend was like being smothered, and Alyssa only felt suffocated.  There was no freedom to do anything with anyone else … and if Jesse found out that Alyssa in fact had done something with someone else it created a firestorm.

For these reasons – Alyssa couldn’t wait to escape to her own special place, a place where she could go to and leave behind all the trials and tribulations of the typical 7^th grader.  That place was Fernwood Cove – Alyssa’s summer camp in Maine.

Four years ago, when Alyssa was only nine, she had begged her parents to let her go to sleep away camp. She wanted to go to a place where she would know no one – and she did all the research to determine where she would go.  A girls’ camp on a lake in Maine was her choice – and off she went, never looking back.

To Alyssa, camp is that special place to escape to – a whole new set of special camp friends from all over the United States, where the silly tribulations of daily life with a wide connected web of friends is left behind and locked up.

This summer had been particularly special.  It was so fun to reunite with her group of friends – friendships that had been building over four years – friends who had this special place to share, a place where time stood still and life was very simple.  Fernwood Cove opened up a whole new world to Alyssa – it taught her greater independence, challenged her to do things she would never do at home, gave her access to so many new experiences.  Plus, the food was to die for.  The nightly campfires, locking arms and singing silly songs, tip toeing with a buddy out to the bathroom in the middle of the night with flashlight in hand – trying to stifle giggles as someone went tumbling over a tree root, were just some of the simplest things that made camp life almost better than anything.

As the sun was dipping behind the lake, a large group of girls surrounded the flagpole and slowly brought down the flag, as they held hands and softly sang Taps in the orange glow of sunset.  This was the last night of camp, and as Alyssa and her friends looked around at each other, there were a few watery eyes.

Following the flag ceremony the girls picked up their candles, lit them, and walked down to Lake Harrison, setting them a float to drift.  This was a last night

tradition at camp. As Alyssa and her friends stepped back to take in the scene, she smiled to herself. The scene before her was heartwarming, nostalgic and beautiful. The floating candles cast sparkles across the lake and created a warm glow, illuminating those things that had contributed to so much summer fun. Within her range of vision, she saw the float at the end of the dock where she and her friends would dash to, starting high up on the meadow and ending up with a wild jump into the refreshing lake.  The water slide, positioned a little further out into the lake, was the next destination point – last one there got stuck with making all the beds up in the cabin the next day.  All around, there was evidence of fun – the kayaks, sailboats, crew shells, canoes, and speedboats for water skiing.  This is nearly heaven, Alyssa thought to herself, sighing.

While it was sad to leave this heaven behind, Alyssa was excited about seeing her parents, and yes, even her brothers the next morning.  And after a day traveling in the car, she would be back home, and excited to see her friends.  And throughout the year, when the typical middle school problems with friendships would surface again, Alyssa would think forward to the time and place next summer where all those problems would just evaporate, at least for a few weeks.