Peeking Behind The Relationship Curtain

holding-handsI just learned this week that a friend from a former job (a person whom I hadn’t talked to in almost 10 years) had left the helping profession and started a small business in the construction industry — with her husband!

I’m not sure what shocked me more: the new career path or the fact that she spends close to 24/7 with her partner.

Actually, I do know – I can’t ever imagine working with my significant other. (And I know Wise Hubby can’t imagine it either.) Whenever I hear about such partnerships, it makes me curious about others’ relationships.

  • For couples who don’t work together, I wonder how often/long do they talk to each other on the phone during the work day?  (And is it bad that a five-minute call at the end of the day to coordinate evening plans is our norm?)
  • For couples that seem to get along great, I wonder, “Do they EVER fight?” And, if so, what’s that look like? Are they yellers? Cold-shoulder people? Or, are do they engage in “fair fighting” and trouble blows by quickly?
  • For couples that bicker, I question whether the back-and-forth is just their normal communication pattern that masks their deep love – or is it a sign that the relationship is crumbling? If there’s tension in public, is there more or less behind closed doors?

While my conversations with girlfriends may include mentions of our SO’s, rarely do we get to talking about the nitty-gritty of our relationships (perhaps in times of marital crisis).

Is this reluctance to pull back the relationship curtain a good thing or a bad thing? I don’t know. But, I’ll confess, I am curious about what goes down in other people’s relationships. What about you?


  • Catherine Says:
    6-24-2010 12:39:00

    Regarding couples that don’t fight, my husband and I are one of them. According to experts on marriage, this is not good and means that we don’t know how to handle conflict or admit that it exists. However, because we both learned many lessons from our first marriages, we spent hours talking about potential problem areas before we married. We also learned not to sweat the small stuff, and that neither of us were mindreaders, so we needed to express our wants and desires. Do we get annoyed with each other? Sure. However, it never escalates to yelling, and the annoyance passes as quickly as it flares.

  • Sharon Says:
    6-24-2010 22:10:26

    Curious but rarely talk about with anyone but a close friend or two. It’s personal, but beyond that I need someone to know me well enough to tell me when I’m on the right track and when I am way off base. And about the phone calls during the day: unusual for us unless it’s about something specific.

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    The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
    Marcel Proust

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