Comments on: Emotional Intelligence: Part II

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 03:03:04 +0000

Elaine -

It’s late, and I don’t have good advice at the moment (although I’m still working on it). I agree with Kathleen though – I’m glad you stood up for yourself. However, it’s a great story and read like a novel. I’ll be back to you after a good night’s sleep!

By: Stacy

Stacy — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:52:18 +0000

First of all, and maybe I’m wrong but I thought you gave your notice to that job months ago. If that’s the case, what the heck are you still doing there? If that’s not the case, what the heck are you still doing there?? Go see him. Let him speak. If you happen to like what he says, you’ll think about sticking around. If you don’t….you’ll shake his hand and (with no emotional outburst) you’ll say thank you and goodbye.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:22:29 +0000

I do think it is important to clear the air and again talk with the boss, as Barb suggested.

Email is subject to incorrect interpretations, so I would steer clear of using that medium. However, the idea of writing out and clarifying your thoughts is a good suggestion.

I think the goal of your conversation with the boss will depend on your goal. Have you already mentally left the building and want to leave bridges intact or do you want to stay with your company?

Differences of opinion can happen in even the best of manager/employee relationships. I also find that men don’t hold onto these things and ruminate on them as we women tend to do. I think there is a good possibility to get the relationship back on track.

Good luck whatever you decide to do. You will be an asset whether you stay or go.

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:33:26 +0000

The crappy situation and your boss’ crappy response aside — I’m really, really impressed that you were able to stand up for yourself and let your boss know exactly what you were thinking and how hurt you were. So many of us would have just stewed and stewed and never said anything. Kudos to you.

By: shane

shane — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:15:53 +0000

The cynic in me says, you are on the way out the door and nothing you say is going to make him realize that he was wrong. Just more evidence that you are meant for better things/people and the universe has better plans for you. Hang in there.

By: Barb

Barb — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:22:37 +0000

For what it’s worth. I think you should seek him out and clear the air; let him know you’d like to hear his other thoughts on the matter. Be prepared for him to say the “hyperbolic BS” that you expected, and if he does then you were right, but you’re also prepared. And if he doesn’t go the hyperbolic BS route, then maybe you’ll learn something new, but at least you will then know how everything would have played out. And he won’t have had the “last laugh”, so to speak.

Good luck!

By: Sharon

Sharon — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:37:13 +0000

I meant to say “He still might not…” in that last sentence. Unconscious ommission on my part because I desperately wish bosses would listen to the people they work with?

By: Sharon

Sharon — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:33:49 +0000

My thought is that he will not hear what you mean to say when you talk to him. He wants to have his say but he is unwilling/unable to hear your side. In your shoes I would write what I want to say as clearly and concisely as I can in a draft email that I would save and let sit for a few days. Then I would reread, edit as needed, and send it to him. He still might be able to “hear” you but you will at least be able to say everything you want to say. Sometimes the written word seeps in where the heard word cannot.