Growing up in Plymouth, Mass., my fellow classmates and I were groomed to be mini-historians when it came to Thanksgiving. In elementary school, the entire month of November was dedicated to everything-Pilgrim: every class, every activity and every reading assignment related to our hometown heritage and that first feast.
Thus, it’s a bit ironic that, when I think of the First Thanksgiving, my mind goes to the first Thanksgiving dinner I prepared all by myself. For most women, the first time we are responsible for the guest of honor – the turkey – and the delivery of hot and timely side dishes to the dinner table is an important milestone, evidence of our crossing the threshold into “real” adulthood.
My First Thanksgiving occurred when I was 25 and cooked for my husband’s family at their home while my mother-in-law recuperated from gall bladder surgery. Although the meal turned out fine, I learned that Thanksgiving is a very tradition-bound celebration and families vary greatly in their traditions.
In my zeal to impress, I prepared homemade stuffing with lots of yummy ingredients. Their family tradition was Stove Top stuffing, and they looked suspiciously at the unusual-looking stuffing sitting on their plates. I put out cranberry sauce, a must for a girl who grew up around cranberry bogs. They didn’t know how (or why) anyone would eat it. The veggies served in assorted bowls were fresh and steamed; they were used to soft (i.e., over-cooked) veggies cooked in the microwave.
Now, don’t get me wrong – they were all very appreciative of the meal and my efforts. They, particularly my mother-in-law, thanked me up and down. Yet, we all knew something was missing that year – the comfort of familiar food, tradition, and long-established roles.
Do you remember preparing your first Thanksgiving feast? Ever have the experience of introducing something “new?” How did that go over? Share the good, the bad, and the ugly and help distract us as we frantically prepare for Thursday.
11-24-2009 10:04:59
My husband and I have hosted his family for Thanksgiving almost every year since we got married in 1991. His family would all make the long drive down from Massachusetts and up from Williamsburg and descend on our house, sleeping bags and all. We loved hosting them, but by the end of the fourth of fifth day of extended overnight guests, we were ready to have our house back.
One year the Massachusetts group couldn’t make it so we were planning a small Thanksgiving with the family members from Williamsburg. My sister-in-law and I, in what we thought was a brilliant whim of easy planning, decided we would go out to a restaurant for dinner that year. We were very happy with this plan as it made for a relaxing visit with no stressful preparations or last minute grocery shopping.
During dinner at the restaurant my oldest nephew who was thirteen at the time, and who had been very quiet the whole day, started crying and said. “This doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving!”
We laugh about it now, but back then we had no idea how much the craziness of the day was all part of the tradition for him and all the kids. This year we are happily going to Williamsburg for Thanksgiving to enjoy the craziness.
11-24-2009 13:40:48
I have hosted Thanksgiving for the past 4-5 years. I’m always amazed I had never cooked a turkey until I was in my early forties! The most intimidating part of the meal for me is still the gravy – I usually turn that over to my mom or mom-in-law….I’m determined to do it myself this year. What is special is that my sister and I always make all the same recipes that we grew up with. I always read so many great stuffing recipes, but I can’t stray from the recipe I’ve always had growing up and as an adult (plus it’s very easy).
Like Maura, once when I was a kid we decided to go out for Thanksgiving. We lived far from all our relatives, so typically it was just the four of us eating together. What a disaster. The first restaurant, we sat down and noticed that a number of the dishes on the table appeared to be dirty. We ended up walking out. The next restaurant, the power went out. At the last and final restaurant, they served pressed turkey. Yuk! Obviously we weren’t good at picking restaurants back then, but additionally – Thanksgiving is all about being at home, in front of the fire, with wonderful smells wafting through the house and the Macy’s Day Parade and then football on TV. I’m looking forward to it!
11-24-2009 15:08:09
Time: Thanksgiving Day 2007
Place: Kitchen of Stacy & Ivan’s home
Event: Stacy cooking Thanksgiving dinner along with Dad
Event subtitle: “Martha Stewart Wanna Be” meets “Mr. Cook It ‘Till It’s Done”
I was ready for battle. I had my Gourmet magazine opened and all ingredients out with corresponding cutting boards and prep bowls. I had my list of things to do and exactly when to do them. Game on! And then, it happened. Somehow, sometime during that afternoon “This is going to be the most perfect Thanksgiving dinner ever made” became “You know, you could also do it THIS way” and “Why don’t you try a little of THIS or a little of THAT in the dish” and “Just because Gourmet doesn’t tell you to do it doesn’t mean you can’t do it!” My Dad stood in the kitchen with a huge Cheshire Cat grin on his face as I shrunk and became Vizzini the little “thinking man” from The Princess Bride trying to figure out which glass the poison was in.
I was enlightened. Yes, Gourmet puts together a nice Thanksgiving menu. Yes, if you follow the recipe, you pretty much can’t go wrong. And yes, I was an uptight New Yorker who couldn’t relax in her own kitchen! Thankfully, I was reminded what a beautiful thing it is just to be with loved ones on this glorious holiday.
11-24-2009 19:42:21
Over the years we have developed our family’s “perfect Thanksgiving dinner menu” and it is impossible to stray from it. One year I asked each person to pick one thing they absolutely had to have for dinner…and each person picked one thing which was different from each other person’s one thing, which left us with the exact menu from before. This year I was going to leave mashed potatoes until the “leftover” meal but my daughter won’t hear of it. I guess it’s good to have kids who know what they want. Smile.