Comments on: Girl vs. Boy Small Talk

By: Sharon

Sharon — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:21:44 +0000

This is an interesting topic. It does seem like conversations with other women quickly delve into the personal. I think, in general, women empathize easily with others. It makes me wonder if that holds us back in the business world, even if it might be good for forming relationships for the long term. I read Tannen’s book several years ago and found it enlightening.

By: Cindy H

Cindy H — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:22:40 +0000

Great topic! I’m in a house full of males, so I asked two of my boys how they make small talk with other guys. They said they usually don’t talk about personal stuff. It’s other stuff, like TV shows, or sports, or music bands. They don’t usually talk about their family or personal stuff or how their day is going. Instead, they’ll tend to joke around. They bond by laughing together.

By: Barb

Barb — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:25:53 +0000

One of my best professors at Georgetown was Deborah Tannen for Linguistics. Her course on Cross Cultural Communication was amazing. She published a best seller in 1990 “You Just Don’t Understand”. It is an easy read and incredibly insightful, and focuses on the cross cultural differences between men and women’s speech. It is still as relevant today as it was then — wise hubby recently used some of her material in a talk to a women’s networking group in his company and got mega credit. Some chapter titles give some good preview: “Rapport-talk and Report-talk”; “Lecturing and Listening”; “Women and Men Talking at Cross Purposes”.

But to answer your question Elaine, I’d say a good example of “boy” small talk is “my dad’s bigger than yours”, “my dog’s bigger than yours”, etc, etc, etc! The conversation just evolves as the boys do — company, car, etc!

By: Cindy La Ferle

Cindy La Ferle — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:30:39 +0000

Elaine, this is SO true in my business circles too. In fact, at a writers conference recently, I ran into several editors and colleagues who immediately asked about my family. My mom is also showing signs of dementia, and since I’ve written about this lately, every woman who knew me asked about my mother first, then, “how’s the writing going?” I love that about women. We truly care — and while business and work are very important to us, we know what really matters when the sun goes down.