There’s a mammoth, rotting tree in our neighbor’s yard that could easily crush our house with the next strong wind. An arborist has warned us, not once, but twice, about the danger and urged its immediate removal. As I described in yesterday’s post, I shared this news with our neighbor via email in late July.
Neither the neighbor nor I made mention of the tree (nor the whopping $4,000 price tag to remove it) for the next 21 days. Over that period, I spent a good chunk of my awake time angsting about how/when to broach the subject of the tree again. (As my husband pointed out, I was investing WAY too much emotional energy in this dilemma.)
On Day 22, a 5 am thunderstorm jolted me awake and terrifying thoughts of tumbling trees kept me awake. I decided to take the bull by the horn (or tree by the limb) and attempt to restart the conversation.
Elaine’s Re-engaging Email
Hi, “Sally” and “Bob”!
Are you two around this weekend so we can chat about the tree? Can we set up a time to meet (by the tree, for coffee, whatever)? What’s your schedule like? Just email me back or call at home.
Thanks! Elaine
Neighbor’s Email Response
Yes.
Elaine’s Reaction and Self-Talk After This Response
Yes?!?! What does that mean? Yes to what question? This feels like some passive-aggressive game and I’m on the losing side.
I forward the email to my husband (of course with no extra editorial comment given my recent email faux pas) and later ask for his interpretation. “Yes means they’re around this weekend,” he tells me in a reasonable (and, to me, most annoying) voice. “Clearly, this is not a priority for them,” he adds.
Well, it’s a priority for me.
I consult my toughest, take-no-crap friend about what to do. She advises me to “force” the conversation by inviting them over for a specific day/time to discuss the matter. Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that? A neighborly conversation over coffee to chat about the tree. I can picture it now …
Elaine Regroups
Look for the latest installment of the tree saga installment tomorrow. Read about my awkward telephone invitation and their unenthusiastic response.
8-26-2009 07:11:40
I’ll be wishing you luck. I’d be stressed out over this too. We live in a subdivision in the Midwest, with lots of large old trees. We often lose branches and entire trees in storms (including ice storms) if they are not trimmed or taken down. The expense for repairing the damage can be worse than removal of the trees. In one neighborhood here, an old maple toppled over on a car in a storm last summer, taking part of the garage roof with it on the way down. So I can vouch for the fact that you need to convince your neighbor that this tree removal is not a cosmetic issue, but a safety issue as well. Can you get your tree guy to come to the meeting? Maybe he’s got a book of photos showing some of the damage he’s repaired after a storm?
8-26-2009 08:13:33
Tips for hiring a tree guy: Wait until their off-season to get a better rate (if you can wait) and then get an even better price by paying cash and like any job – get more than one estimate. Does the $4k price include hauling the logs away??
8-26-2009 09:32:01
A picture is worth a 1000 words. A tree did fall on our house 2 years ago. (it fell Sunday; the tree company was scheduled to come Monday…woops). I’ll see if I can find the photo, you may want to show your neighbor that trees really do fall down and cause damage
8-26-2009 11:02:40
I am anxious to read Thursday’s installment.
8-27-2009 20:15:59
Like nnaww – a tree fell on our house in a storm, and I had all the estimates lined up to take it down before the storm hit – of course it fell on our newly remodeled room. If you need pictures, just let me know!