A compliment a day keeps the therapist away.
I have no idea if that statement is actually true — whether compliments correlate to mental health — but it SHOULD be true, don’t you think? The occasional kind word does wonders for my confidence; compliments that are unexpected, first-time praises and/or flattering remarks about my shrinking waist line earn extra brownie points. (Alas, too many brownies may have led to too few compliments in that last category of late.)
This contemplation about compliments was inspired by the Chicago Tribune article Purdue ‘Compliment Guys’ Can’t Give Enough of a Good Thing. Two college dudes in Indiana hang out on campus for two hours each week doling out hundreds of free compliments to passersby. Nice glasses. Great smile. Cool backpack. Their fellow students appreciate and look forward to the doses of verbal sunshine these guys offer each week.
I don’t think those compliments would do anything for me, however. I much prefer the random and spontaneous admiring comment. Like when my daughter came up to me at Kohl’s this weekend as I was looking for a new (translation = bigger) pair of jeans and said, “I’m so glad you’re my mother.”
Unaware that I had done anything spectacular, I asked why. Caitlin went on to explain that, while in the dressing room, she overheard another mother haranguing her daughter about the teen’s excess “rolls” and unflattering choice of outfits. I was saddened to hear about that exchange (talk about needing a therapist), but heartened by Caitlin’s words of gratitude.
What type of compliments have you experienced lately? Have they been a boost to the old ego? Or, have you suffered any of those back-handed compliments?
3-26-2009 09:32:59
We’re on the same wavelength again… am working on a column on this very topic for next week. I too am trying to revive the lost art of the old-fashioned compliment. These days, people are so angry, I think we need to lift each other up more often. Yesterday, at the hairstylist, several people complimented my red hair, which always gives me a boost.
3-26-2009 22:12:26
hmmmm, well my six year old told me my hands looked like old lady hands this week…. !
3-27-2009 12:23:18
Like Anne, I too get the odd “compliment” — like when my boys notice that my hair is looking particularly grey and ask when I’m having my highlights done again. At least they’re honest and noticing! Having said that, whenever I get dressed up to go out, they usually tell me how pretty I look, which is a fabulous boost.
Outside the family, I can remember some occasions when I’ve been out at a black tie event — where the greatest pass time is checking out the other dresses — and someone I didn’t know came up and complimented by dress. It’s such a simple thing, but you know they’ve made an effort to reach out like that and it’s made me feel so good. So whenever I’m at an event like that and see a dress that I think is particularly gorgeous or a fab hairstyle, I like to give similar compliments — especially when it’s outside of my own circle.
3-28-2009 18:25:49
My husband and I were watching the NCAA basketball games the other night. He looked over at me and said, “You look so young right now.” I will remember that for a long time. I’m keeping the new hair color!