As a self-employed consultant/writer, I grapple with the question of how much am I worth on a regular basis. It’s a painful process for me, and, quite frankly, something I stink at. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to advocating for myself around rates/wages.
So, I was intrigued by a recent PunditMom post on the lack of fair pay for women. The politically-minded blogger decried the fact that the average woman still only earns 77 cents for ever dollar the average man makes. She urged readers to contact their Washington legislators and request support for the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.
No doubt about it, pay inequity and workplace discrimination are real problems women continue to face. Unfortunately, it will take more than an Act of Congress to help me catch up on the pay scale.
For me, the rate/wage imbalance is due to the fact that I (along with many other women) am uncomfortable negotiating for what I’m worth. As MSNBC put it – one reason for the pay gap: women don’t speak up!
Now, I’m not a wimp or a pushover when it comes to pay. But, I do accept the first reasonable offer (or submit only cost-effective proposals). In my mind, I’m coming off as unassuming, realistic and a team player.
To get the perspective from the other side of the negotiating table, I talked to a friend whose opinion I respect and is an executive vice president handling personnel matters for a thriving DC firm. In her words: “I can say, without hesitation, that the Type-A, super confident, completely capable women in the firm usually have the most successes. These are the ones who listen to the generous bonus amount or raise we propose to give them, blink their eyelashes, and then unabashedly put forth an argument that warrants an increase of the original amount by 5 – 10%. … The demure and meek, who sit and fidget uncomfortably in their chairs, but choose to hold their tongues, are stuck with the amount we originally designated.”
Ouch! Reality hurts.
I want to be one of those clearly competent women who immediately thinks to ask for more. Anybody else struggle with this? Any advice on how to aim for the Cadillac-wage instead of settling for the Chevy?
6-12-2008 10:54:19
The meek may inherit the earth, but they will not be paid what they are worth. We women seem to be universally afflicted with the ‘disease to please.’ Yes, we want to be respected, but if we have to choose between the two, we would rather be liked. Socialization does not serve us well.
I,too, am guilty of not negotiating, even when I know that I am worth more. After the fact, when I am working hard and doing great work, I regret that I didn’t ask for a higher salary.
We wise women are willing to take risks, and this is one that we need to start taking. We know we’re worth it, so let’s stop hesitating.
Catherine
6-12-2008 15:27:29
English is not my first language,but I will comment on this issue the best way I can and forgive me if I make grammatical and spelling mistakes. I imigrated to this country 35 years ago! I started working in a fast food restaurant as a cashier with no knowledge of the English language but I pulled through. Within 5 years, I completed high school, and two years of collage. I started at a company as a data entry and within two and a half I worked my way and convised the presidnet of the compahy that I could make a difference and was promoted to the Manager of the Quality Assurance department. I am not braggin but I am trying making a point, had I not opened my big mouth and spoke up of my worth and what I believed in myself, I would still be in front of a computer entering date and making nothing. My advise to all of you young ladies even though we rather be liked than respected, you should not have to choose between the two. The stornger you are and the more you believe in yourself, it is more likly that you will be both liked and more respected. Do not hesitate and do not dought your worth. If you want, I will be more than happy to speak up for you. Elaine knows what a big mouth Iam.
6-12-2008 19:38:21
Dr.Evelyn Murphy has written a book called WAGE that documents the history of womens wage equality and gives great suggestions for “getting even”. This has inspired many woment to band together and learn how to negotiate more effectively. try out the WAGE website.
6-13-2008 06:59:20
I’m guilty as charged. I know I’ve left a bit of money on the table; in fact I’m still trying to collect (somewhat unsuccessfully I might add). I do think it goes back to the way we’re socialized, and in our general “Everybody wins” attitude. Go back to read April 8 blog – Could there be a 1000 Wise Men.